tips

A More Comprehensive Guide To Overcoming Depression -- Be A Free Thinker!

August 9, 2013

Overcoming Rape



I was fifteen when I was raped. My virginity was taken by force by a twenty-year-old guy I had a crush on. He did not seem to understand words like: "Stop it! You're hurting me! Get off of me!" My frantic gestures designed to discourage the perpetrator from violating not just my body, but also my mind and my spirit altogether, were not effective. In less than few minutes I was reduced to nothing more than a piece of meat. My natural, I guess, response to this painful, disgusting, infuriating event was hatred. Deep, intense hatred that sank all the way into my subconscious. 

I buried my pain inside but the ghost of this negative emotion that I was harboring sometimes knowingly but mostly unknowingly, kept hunting me as if it had absolutely nothing else to do. This ghost turned out to be immune to proverbs such as "In due time all things will heal." 
The older I was getting, the more sick and tired of sex I became. Why did it always had to lead to those awfully familiar sensations? Why did I always had to end up feeling so used, mistreated, and so cheap? Why was orgasm reserved for some elite women who had somehow discovered the secret of achieving such pleasure? 

For over two decades those questions remained unanswered. That was because I was looking for it in the wrong places. I was looking for a solution outside of me. 

"Then what, you may ask, could be a solution from within?"

- Forgiveness. 

"But how can I forgive such prick who put me through such hell that lasted for so many years?"

- By having compassion towards that prick. By understanding that he was a victim himself. He was a victim of Evolution that was taking place slowly. He wasn't as lucky as you to have evolved into this sensitive being that you are. He didn't have and perhaps for a long time he still won't have the understanding that you possess. He couldn't cherish and respect you because he did not know what that means. He couldn't connect with you because he was disconnected from within. He couldn't see your true beauty because he's eyes were not adjusted to it. He hurt you because he was hurting from within. He felt inadequate. He felt small. He felt insignificant. He was attempting to mask his own insecurities by experiencing dominance over you.  

Each and every time you get angry when someone makes you feel the way you felt in the past; don't react to it. Go inside and observe it. Recognize it. Then without attempting to change anything, in your mind remind yourself the reasons why you forgive that person. Within just couple of months, if you continue with it, you will heal this wound. Then "out of a sudden" you will realize that people who may have been mistreating you, are either out of your life, or started treating you the way you deserve to be treated. You will not have to do anything to make changes "out there", for you have made permanent changes from within. And the world "out there" just reflects those changes.

For more detailed description on how I used forgiveness to heal my wounds, click here

To read an interview with Vironika Tugaleva, the author of bestselling book "The Love Mindset," in which I asked her how she managed to overcome being raped, click here 

     

2 comments:

I think forgiveness came to me, most poignantly, when I realized that he took something FOR himself, and not FROM me. What he did for himself is his business. What I allow to be taken from me is mine. And I'm sure that no one takes and takes from others unless they feel very hungry for love and acceptance themselves. I send him peace. And I send you peace. And all the victims peace and forgiveness.

You are very blessed, Vironika, to had arrived to such freeing realization. Thank you for sharing this with me, and with everyone who reads this post. It's so helpful to know that others were able to forgive what might appear unforgivable. Merry Christmas to you, and may peace be always with you.

Post a Comment

Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites More