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A More Comprehensive Guide To Overcoming Depression -- Be A Free Thinker!

December 21, 2014

Don't Feel Bad When You Snap




People affected by depression are the most sensitive individuals you'll ever encounter. What you don't know though is that they pay a very high price for being this sensitive. 

Their sensitivity makes them vulnerable to the outside world built on self-serving values, which are excused with sayings like "survival of the fittest." 

Depressed people are often guilty of making one of the biggest mistakes - putting others needs before their own.

They have a tendency to keep everything bottled up until they can no longer control their justified (very much so) rage. 

Then one day they finally snap...

What happens next is even worse... Immediately after "losing it" they become easy targets for unsolicited judgment and criticism coming from every direction.  

Friends and family start to fire suggestions: "Maybe it's time to see a shrink?" 

At the shrink's office they learn that even though their feelings about this particular situation were valid, their response to it was not...  

So what do they do? The only thing they've been allowed to do so far; keep suppressing their emotions even further...

And so the cycle continues...

Well, isn't it time to break it? I'd say so. 

If you suffer from depression don't expect others to break the cycle for you. You will have to be the one who breaks that chain. 

How? Very simple. You need to make a conscious decision to allow yourself to get mad without feeling bad about it.

DON'T FEEL BAD WHEN YOU SNAP. 

Do not apologize for it. Ever! Do not go over in your head, how you should have reacted differently, how you shouldn't have said what you said, and so on and on. STOP IT. Stop yourself from beating yourself up. Don't you see what that's been doing to you? 

Haven't you had enough of being "pissed on" by others? 

I'll tell you something that might be news to you: those you've just snapped at rarely question their ways of treating others.

Sometimes people need to hear what they need to hear. And they need to hear it without sugar coating, without that sweetness in your tone, which they've taken for granted. Am I right? 

Next time when you "lose it," take a moment to observe your thoughts closely. Do you feel the urge to reassure others that you're OK, and not mad anymore even though you know it's not true? If so, you're doing it wrong... 

Be honest. Enough pretending for the sake of troubling others.

Regroup yourself immediately. "To hell with it!" is a phrase that helps me to not feel guilty for finally having the courage to stand up for myself, or as others would say; "snapping." 

Try it, and you'll see how good it feels. Not the snapping part, but the relief that comes from knowing you're not a bad person for expressing your true feelings.

You'll also see how promptly people start showing you more respect. They'll start taking you less for granted too.

This is what it's called: setting healthy boundaries. 

Don't be afraid of rocking the boat. Would you rather that boat end up sinking, unable to sustain itself under the load of crap that's been piled on for so long? 

Little bit about me:

Now residing in Honolulu, Hawaii, Polish-born Elzbieta Pettingill is a former fashion model, author and survivor of depression. She suffered abuse and rape in her childhood, and was subsequently diagnosed with a depression that followed her from childhood through to adulthood. Let down by the medical and psychological establishments, and realizing that only she could change her mind, Elzbieta overcame her depression in her 30’s through a process of conscious spiritual awakening, a story that forms the basis of her book: “Life Realized” – available now on Amazon.com


5 comments:

Thank you very much for starting this online blog Elzbieta. I completely agree with everything you've written, not just in this blog entry, but the others as well. I've only just realised all the hurt I've been doing to myself over the past 5 years and reading your words of inspiration has made me more aware of my own feelings.
Please continue writing, and good luck to you. ☺

Awesome advice. Snapped a couple of times the last 3 months and not apologizing for it.

Dogs have taken to simultaneously bark & whine at me, caused by the stench of my depression.
My artistic reputation, nil among them.

-Marc Breed
America's Fetish Photographer

http://artpostertheworldprogram.blogspot.com/

I really enjoyed exploring your site.

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